Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
