On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize