maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This is classic penis vs brain.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
