who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
