So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
