i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
