I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
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We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize