The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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