So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize