Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
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i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
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I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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