that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
