He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
