I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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