It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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