Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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