I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He passed out mid-signature
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
