I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
