How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize