roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
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good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
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you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
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