Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
