so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
