i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Four minutes until I can fart!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize