My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
