I'm going to jail i love you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize