made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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