By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
