yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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