I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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