Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
