So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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