He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
