Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
