I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
