I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
