if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
