im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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