it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
