Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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