Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
