youre lurking in front of me
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
