THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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