I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
