I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize