Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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