I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
