thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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