i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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