VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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