Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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