DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
