I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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