I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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