woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
