i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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