I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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