I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize