I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
