I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
