My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
