Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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