So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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