We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
